I was born a woman, which came as a tremendous shock to my parents as they’d been expecting a baby.
It’s always good to tell people to “stay safe” during a distaster just in case they didn’t know.
You Might Also Like
I learned a few things in Twitter Jail last night.
1. My wife’s name
2. How to make a shank from a phone charger
3. I need Twitter
A gentle reminder that as a duck billed platypus both lays eggs and produces milk, it is unusual in that it could make it’s own custard.
4-year-old: *puts on ballerina dress*
*puts on ballerina shoes*
*puts on ballerina tiara*
Me: Who are you supposed to be?
4: A ninja.
Me: Is the natural state of the soul quiet or chaos?
Taco Bell cashier: Look buddy, it’s transient, shifting like water
dad to his crying baby: shhh stop crying
[baby keeps crying]
me: wow, your baby does not listen
When you were young, Adele? You’re 28.
Shut the hell up.
[Christopher Nolan on the set of Batman Begins]
Great Batman voice, Christian! Terrific stuff!
[aside] maybe Batman shouldn’t talk
I had a pretty confused childhood because I thought obituaries are actually advertisements selling dead people.
Day 18 of lock down. Filled the dog with helium.