Just saw my 4yo eat a banana like a corn on the cob… so yes the quarantine has changed us.
It’s amazing how little sleep you can survive on, just by eating right, cutting out alcohol & sharing a bedroom with a vengeful poltergeist.
You Might Also Like
*shows up at your potluck with a handful of McDonald’s ketchup packets*
I peel my underwear off as you watch me & then hand it to you,
You know what’s coming next..
It’s your turn to do the laundry
I love saying “were you born in a barn?” when my kids leave a door open because it also leaves them wondering “do barns not have doors?” and “why doesn’t dad know where I was born?”
Being a parent puts you in excruciatingly difficult situations. For example, having to talk to other parents.
Do they charge extra if you want to get a tattoo of an avocado?
Im making a fortune promoting home security systems.All I do is say “Hello”.At 3 in the morning sitting at the end of their bed.
I get the feeling some of you have been told by others of you not to talk to me. This means war.
I wish the Antiques Roadshow guy had just told me how much my swords were worth without getting all nosy about where the blood came from.
My weight loss plan is to skip breakfast and lunch…
And then eat seven dinners.