@aka_fatman: It's because it's Bring Your Daughter To Work Day, sweetie. That's why. What Papa is doing right now is called an "autopsy". Stop crying.
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@UniqueDude2: ME: fine, judge me. judge me for loving too much, for caring too much- JUDGE: you're on trial for murder ME: for murdering too much
@panmidwest: [Father's Day] ME: I got you this meat thermometer. Hopefully it works well... DAD: Hopefully it works medium and rare too!
@jctwritesstuff: [Zombie Apocalypse] Him: Pack your go-bag. No nonessentials. Me: K Mascara Record player Albums Like 4 of his hoodies Vodka Charger Katana 800 thread count sheets Books Cheese *dies*