Not now ex-boyfriend. Someone favorited 2 of my tweets. I’m a huge deal around there now & you lost your chance. Just kidding. What time?
It’s called quiche because “egg pie” sounds like something you’d look up on urban dictionary.
You Might Also Like
Wait you misunderstood. When I called you “doll face,” I was referring to Chucky.
Björk is my favourite singer-songwriter/IKEA side table.
I tried living every day like it was my last but I got arrested on my second day of looting.
whoever decided how to spell camouflage is a terrible terrible person
[Swims out to Sea]
*dolphins save me*
*dolphins ask for a tip
*they return me to the shark*
Seems like Pizza Hut should be able to afford a house by now.
When you just stick the tip in and then move it around and around.
– Hand held pencil sharpener
Wake Me Up Before You YOLO. #RuinAn80sSong
People: “You look so unapproachable”
Me: “And yet,here you are”