@awescar: It's funny how humans are so picky about sex partners and dogs are all, "that smells about right"
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@Duke1173: They ordered two extra large pizzas at work. I wonder what everyone else is going to eat.
@Mom_Overboard: guys I wanna start watching the news but I've never seen a single episode and I don't have time to watch it all before the new season starts can one of you catch me up?
@Tbone7219: I walk around my yard with a fake ankle monitor so my neighbors will not ask me to watch their kids