It’s gonna be so fun when we all start seeing each other at AA meetings after all of this.

You Might Also Like


[man comes home after long day, opens front door and is attacked by 8 cats]
MAN: There has to be a better way!
Narrator: DOGS


Nuns lead a very regimented and routine life. You might even say they’re creatures of habit.


[kool-aid man catches son sneaking in and smells his breath] is that…hawaiian punch?
“dad i can explain”


*after 12 tequila shots*
Left eye – It’s PARTY TIME!!
Right eye – I’m beat, I’m going to lie down in the corner


facte: you eat 28 spiders in your lifetime. always 28. if you are about to die and you have only eaten 3 then 25 spiders arrive at once


walmart: why do u want to work here?

me: it’s easier to steal if the employees trust me

walmart: why would u tell us that

me: *slowly taking their pen* to build trust


My dog caught me petting another dog and now we have to start a couple’s Facebook account.


what if everything’s a hellscape because Adele got happy and needed material