It’s hilarious that people still asking me to write for exposure. I died of exposure MONTHS AGO! My corpse is rotting on the Oregon Trail!!!
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When a sales clerk asks if you need help with anything, this does not include kids.
I know this now.
humans: lets invent computers so they can do work for us and we can be free to see our families or write poems or whatever
also humans: actually if you dont have a job society will murder you it turns out
Stupid seal at the zoo would not sing “kiss by a rose.” REFUND!
How did you spend your dinner break, Jamie? Just drawing a reverse centaur so everyone can see how horrible they are
Turns out that the best way to find a flat head screw driver is to pretend to look for a phillips one.
Give a man a fish and he’ll be like,
“Dude I’m allergic to fish.”
TEACH a man to fish and he’ll be like,
“THTOP I THAID IM ALLERGIC TO FITH”
You are the pebble in my shoe of people.
“Voop voop voop voop voop voop voop voop voop.”
When does the jogging end… surely they must be getting close to declaring a winner