@EmilioEmm: It’s HOMOsapiens, not HETEROsapiens. It’s the Bi-ble, not the Straight-ble.
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@Dildo_Hitler: *sees Arnold Schwarzenegger working at Walmart* "hey Arnold, kitchen appliances are toward the back of aisle B right?" "YES. AISLE B, BACK"
@philEfanaddict: [1st Date] Her: I've had a hysterectomy Him: I've had a vasectomy Her: Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Him: You gonna eat those fries?
@iAmDelFreaky: <during sex> Me: Can we pretend I didn't just call you Uncle Joe? Her: Not sure, it's pretty disturbing. Uncle Joe: It didn't bother me.
@HenpeckedHal: Letting my son turn the pages when we read together so he's more engaged with the story and also because sometimes he accidentally skips pages.