@mariokeyparty: It's kind of funny how so many people think that being gay is a choice but being fat isn't
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@equinelover137: A guy just said he wants to know what I got "in the trunk" I told him duct tape, a shovel and rapid decomposition powder Flirting is hard
@TweetsByKaylee: murderer: oh no i forgot my weapon :( aragorn: you have my sword legolas: and you have my bow gimli: and my axe murderer: omg *tearing up* you guys :')
@clarkekant: Wondering why we have 50 candidates for Miss America, but only 2 for president. Also, why no swimsuit competition?
@Paxochka: Sometimes you look at an ex and think maybe they're not so bad. And then they start to talk and remind you why you hate them.