Either your employees are very rude…
Or, the name of your store is terribly misleading.
An ‘Unsatisfied’ Customer
It’s not called “Laura the Explorer” because if a little white girl gets lost in the woods, CNN shows up with the FBI.
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If you buy a house off Craig’s List, it comes with a free serial killer.
BATMAN: Thanks for filling in while Robin is away.
MOTHMAN: *Just repeatedly flying into the bat signal*
I told my 3-year-old the beans in her taco were chocolate jelly beans and she took 3 whole bites before she decided to never trust me again.
*Arrives in Hell*
Devil: Here, help these 5th graders with common core math
Me: I feel like eventually I will drive everyone away.
Uber Driver: Same, Girl.
*Holds my sweatpants like a ball gown when I walk up the stairs*
Guy: What do you do?
Me: I tell jokes on Twitter
G:No, I mean, what do you do to support yourself?
Me: I tell myself that they’re good jokes
Back in 2012 my wife & I were the victims of a horrific & terrifying home invasion that left us mentally scarred & unable to sleep. But our daughter’s 5 now & we’ve actually grown quite fond of her.