If you ever feel shitty about mispronouncing a word you’ve never used in speech, then know that nothing could be worse than the way I said ‘banal’ in front of an entire company
It’s not like I live in a broken down car on the side of a road. I’m not that rich.
You Might Also Like
Simba, everything the light touches is our kingdom
“wat abot that shadowy place. by 5pm it wil be in the sun”
..who told you about science
If you’re the kinda person that gets antsy when people stand on an escalator instead of walking, try a blood curdling scream, they’ll move.
If you haven’t used your fingers to “expand” a picture in a Magazine today, well then you’re not me.
Kill them with kindness, you say?
*slowly and sadly puts down bazooka*
3yo: play it again!
Me: I can’t, baby
*3yo throws epic fit*
Radio, you’re tearing this family apart.
It was a classic Cinderella story: I walked into strangers’ houses and made women try on a shoe I found
“orange u glad im not a banana?”
…. MARTHA THERES A RACIST ORAMGE AT THE DOOR DO I LET HIM IN
I saw a dog taking a dump and I totally thought of you.
HR: The delivery job is yours.
HR: Do u have a reliable car?
Me: A little in college. How is that relevant?