making it rain (CHEETOS) in the club (my bedroom)
“Its not you. Its me.”
~ twins going through a photo album
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My gym is opening up again, so now I have to go back to not going because I’m lazy.
Do I just say yes or do I make my group hate me before we even begin this project
You’re the last hot dog on the rollers at 7-11 of people.
A Tale of Two Cities 2: A Tale of Three Cities
If anyone asks, I’m drinking all this wine to collect corks for a pinterest project.
Fill the piñata with goat intestines to teach children about the brutal consequences of violence.
Priest: will you love & honor her?
Me: I will
Her: [whispers to priest]
Priest: and leave your phone unlocked?
Me: I’m out
*Whispers in random chicks ear
“I have pizza in the van”
I’m fairly confident I could live in a desert, I’ve gone years without drinking water.