@dblackattack: It's nothing serious, we're not dating or anything, we just sometimes get brunch together, were just Friends with Benedict.
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@Parkerlawyer: Going to a wedding this weekend. Can’t decide if I want to sit on the bride’s side or groom’s side because that’s basically choosing who I will represent in their future divorce. No pressure.
@vikkaroni: Him: what does a polar bear weigh? Me: I don't know Him: enough to break the ice, my name's John. Me: so's mine.