You Might Also Like

@kwirkyKerri

There are directions with pictures on this underarm deodorant. Yet another disaster avoided.

@TheTalkingPipe

The milk in my fridge went bad. It beat up my orange juice and started selling meth to all the condiments.

@1evilidiot

Of course it’s you. if it was me I wouldn’t even bring it up.

@santhonythomas

I finally figured out what flies and mosquitoes are for. They’re gods way of making us slap ourselves.

@fro_vo

Me: *picks nose*
Plastic Surgeon: excellent choice

@Marlebean

My mouth says: Yes, yes! Keep eating that candy!

My pants say: For the love of god, I cannot hold on much longer!