@byrdie_num_num: It's now politically correct to award kids trophies for last place. On a related note, 'trophy wife' has become rather ambiguous.
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@LittleMissAngr1: I can't wink with my right eye. Please stand to the left of me for optimal flirting.
@KalvinMacleod: I have Facebook like reflexes. "Don't you mean cat-like reflexes?" *throws a book and hits you right in the face*
@mattZillaaaa: Today is a new day. Be thankful. Do something nice for yourself. Call someone you haven't spoken to in a while. Run with a pair of scissors
@rmfnord: "Whoa! Hey there, buddy, leave me out of it. This has got nothing to do with me." - The Horse You Rode In On