@doctorveritas: "It's possible to touch birds!" I say suddenly. My coworkers stare at me. I wander outside to touch some birds.
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@smithsara79: You don't really know true fear until you're headed to work to teach at a middle school after you tried cutting your own bangs
@ibid78: Your first mistake was wearing heels in this dodgeball tournament, Jason. The second was thinking that they went with that dress.
@JasonLight73: If the camera adds 10 lbs. & Mirrors don't lie..Why in the World would a Woman ever take her picture in the bathroom mirror? It defies logic
@DeanB15: I just smoked so much pot that I tried to order one of the dishes of food off the scrolling instagram menu.