It’s that wonderful time of year again when the spiderwebs I’ve been too lazy to clean become functional decorations.
You Might Also Like
Fun fact: Snakes don’t exist. They were made up by scientists in 1923 as a joke that went too far so they just kinda rolled with it
1.) Go to Yoga class
2.) Compliment some people on their mats
3.) Unroll 20×25 oriental rug.
My dad is Jamaican and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs.
You don’t know laziness until you rob a bank & choose to wait for the amount you stole to be announced on news rather than count it yourself
*walks into Forever 21*
*gets pulled aside*
Umm, we don’t really mean FOREVER.
[sanitation worker knocks at my door]
The amount of McDonald’s related trash we’re collecting from your home each week has us concerned.
Oh rental car. Oh rental car. Your gas tank is not on the side I thought.
Waiter: what can I get you gentlemen
Friend: I’ll have a hamburger and he’ll have th-
Me: -dude I’m an adult I can order myself
Friend: okay sorry go ahead
Me: 69 orders of french fries please
I didn’t think there’d be a sequel for “To Kill A Mockingbird.” I just assumed that they all lived Harper Lee ever after