The lady at the bakery who draws her eyebrows on is looking extra surprised today
It’s widely known that some members of a prison population become well-read and crafty with words.
Sometimes you can mix prose with cons.
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I had to cut my own toenails. This pandemic is bullshit.
*Approaches a guy reading “Catch Me If You Can”*
I love that book. The way he just *clenches fist* catches all those freakin’ cans.
GROOT: I am Groot.
TEACHER: I don’t know, can you?
GROOT: *Sigh* I am Groot.
TEACHER: Yes, you may.
Yes officer I know it seems like a lot for personal use.
“It’s a banana in my pocket”
“May I remind the defendant that he’s under oath?”
“I’m glad to see you”
Him: And, how did you get here?
Me: My parents had sex.
wrestling movies: im sad and i have something to prove to my dad
actual wrestlers: my name is Nutbuster Mike and i dont care if i die