@chrisdelia: I've ALWAYS said "A sport is not a sport unless you can play it while shitting."
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@Rollmaninoz: Caesar: friends, Romans countryman lend me your ear... [2 days later] *Caesar opens mailbox* "oh FFS Van Gogh IT'S A SAYING!!!!!'
@PleaseBeGneiss: COP: *drawing chalk outline around victim* ME: what’s that for? COP: seriously? ME: COP: I think it’s to keep out ants
@ThugRaccoons: HR: We need to see you for a moment Me: Is this about the nail clipping? He: Yes. It’s our understanding that Linda did not ask you to trim her nails