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@chrisdelia: I've ALWAYS said "A sport is not a sport unless you can play it while shitting."
@rebrafsim: Me: I don’t want to leave anything to chance
Chance: why do you hate me dad
@badbanana: I relate to #PizzaRat because if I found a slice of pizza as big as a car you can bet I'd try my best to take that thing home.
@This_Josh_guy: [end credits roll]
"I did not see that coming"
"Dude that was titanic"
@iwearaonesie: me *brings toddler his popsicle* What do you say?
@TotesInapropro_: In my defense, your baby was crying before I dropped it.