@thequeensheart: I’ve banged my pinky toe so many times in the past week it has an appointment at the clinic tomorrow for a STD test.
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@BitterKrust: "Does this hurt?" "YES!" "What about this?" "OW!" *Dr. writes notes* "Patient shows symptoms of pain when stabbed with knife. Keep updates."
@TheGladStork: Daughter: How was your day, Daddy? Me: Pretty busy, lots of meetings and deadlines. Her: DEAD LIONS!?!
@GoldenSpirals: [At Vision Center] Receptionist: Which Doctor would you like to see? Me: I'd like to be able to see all of them. That's why I'm here.
@Kodotropo: *dad walks in on me doing homework* "HAH NERD MORE LIKE HOMOWORK" Dad you're still in third grade "Probably because I'm not a nerd like you"