*avoids eye contact until 10 ft from friend
*keeps avoiding eye contact
*walks by friend
*hears friend calling name
*breaks into a run
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restaurants: hey kid. wanna color in some trees? a castle? some animals? grassy hills? here’s a blue and a red crayon.
I hop around on one foot a lot because the other foot is usually in my mouth.
Pharmacist: How can I help you?
Me: I’d like to see a menu.
Our laundry room flooded because an apple chunk clogged the washer hose. Go ahead, have kids. They have pocket apples.
*ref throws flag*
Ref: *zebra noises*
Zebra at home: *nodding* Good call good call
“Are you ever going to boil?”, I scream at the pot of water that is sitting on a burner which I didn’t turn on.
My bathroom scale is wrapped in duct tape, missing half the numbers, and the dial has been stuck at 110 lbs for years, but I refuse to buy a new one because that’s my ideal weight.
Welcome to ghosts anonymous. Nice to see such a spirited turnout.
*all of the ghosts boo in unison*
Chairman: I’d like everyone to go over what they chose as their mascots.
Burger King: A king.
Wendy’s: A joyous child.
Mcdonald’s: I didn’t know we- um, a clown? Like a big nasty clown.
Mcdonald’s: A big nugget. Maybe purple. No wait how about a moist little thief?