Please, you are bringing shame to your ancient weasel ancestors.
I’ve been shelling pistachios for 3 hours now, I have 9.
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Burger King needs a new slogan. Something like “we clean our bathrooms now.”
*gingerly maneuvers the garbage can back into place between a stack of crown molding we’ll never use and your antique pesticide collection*
From now on when skinny girls say they’re fat I’m just gonna be like, “Yup” & walk away.
Them: what’s your favorite foreign film?
Me: oh definitely Star Wars
Me: it took place in a galaxy far, far away
Me: it’s also my favorite historical film
✔ This claim is disputed!
NORTH CAROLINA:We believe in family values.
ME:Like Disney movies?
ME:Like Mulan, where a cross dresser saves China?
WAITER: Are you ready?
ME: Yes. I’ll have the burger, medium rare
ME: Not in a corner
ME: Can’t be refused
WAITER: Excellent, sir
I just plugged the charger into my phone, in the correct hole, on the first try.
So it IS possible, guys.
IT. IS. POSSIBLE.
the year is 2046: leggings & cargo shorts have become sentient, the world is very different but we’re all pretty comfy