@PastorBate: I've been washing my hair with Ranch dressing for 13 years because the bottle doesn't say not to do that.
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@GroovyTasia: Me: You're NEVER supportive of my goals and accomplishments. Police: Because you keep killing people
@LurkAtHomeMom: I start each day with a green smoothie. Wait, no, the bartender's saying it's called a "Mojito."
@Kyle_Lippert: HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 1) Put a saddle on it 2) Get on 3) Oh god it's destroying the village with fire 4) WHY DIDN'T I GET A CAT INSTEAD?!