@AsgardianRose: I’ve cleaned the entire house so no one is allowed to live here anymore.
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@AndyAsAdjective: Respond to every "How was your weekend?" today by staring off into the distance & whispering "So much blood..."
@BeerBatterBeard: The lack of paparazzi at this BBQ makes me think that my aunt can probably stop referring to her potato salad as "famous."
@dshack8: Don't call me "Dad", please call me by my professional title, "Half-Eaten Food Connoisseur Broken Toy Engineer Butt-Wipeologist".