@RackOfSteel

I’ve eaten so much Easter candy..that at this point I’m positive i’m ovulating Reese’s eggs.

You Might Also Like

@DomComedy

If Dumbledore did a ‘Cribs’ episode for Hogwarts, he’d be like “and this is where the magic happens” in every room.

@maurex23

[spelling bee]

-your word is ‘amnesia’

-can you use it a sentence, please?

-your word is ‘amnesia’

@gvicks

2020; January, February, Quarantine, December.

@ItsSamG

I would go to the gym during the Christmas holidays but I don’t really think that’s what Jesus would have wanted

@LittleMissAngr1

Thinking about the time I got paired for a project with the dude who sat beside me in history class and I couldn’t remember his name so I thought I’d be sneaky and ask him how he spelled his name instead of asking what it was and he looked me dead in the eyes and said B-E-N

@climaxximus

me: if the prince truly loved cinderella he would remember her face. he just had a foot fetish and great resources.

guy: where is our regular priest

@DaddyJew

HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA THINK YOUR FRIEND IS REALLY CUTE