@lloydrang: I've found that whenever God closes a door, Satan hands me a lockpick.
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@KeetPotato: genie: "thats definitely your last wish?" me: [smiles at my wife in wheelchair] "yes" genie: "ok" our dog: "how can i talk all of a sudden?"
@QwertyJones3: Me: Oh my god, that cat is adorable! She's the cutest kitty I've ever seen! Cat: I just want to be friends.
@: the small neighbor human. stopped by the house after school. i guess they hate a thing called math. and really needed to tell someone. as long as they don’t stop petting me. i am a fabulous listener
@ceejoyner: Misinterpreted some rabbit prints in the snow and told my scout troop to look out for babies running at 35mph.