@KeetPotato: genie: "thats definitely your last wish?" me: [smiles at my wife in wheelchair] "yes" genie: "ok" our dog: "how can i talk all of a sudden?"

@QwertyJones3: Me: Oh my god, that cat is adorable! She's the cutest kitty I've ever seen! Cat: I just want to be friends.

@: the small neighbor human. stopped by the house after school. i guess they hate a thing called math. and really needed to tell someone. as long as they don’t stop petting me. i am a fabulous listener

@ceejoyner: Misinterpreted some rabbit prints in the snow and told my scout troop to look out for babies running at 35mph.

@causticbob: Happy thanksgiving!