“Let’s give the bad guy a ponytail.” – 80s movies
I’ve got 45 chairs in my garage from receptionists asking me to take a seat.
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Why “Trojan” condoms? Didn’t the Trojan horse burst open & thousands of little guys poured out? Less than stellar marketing.
My boss said , “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” Now I’m sitting in a disciplinary meeting wearing my wonder woman costume
[Murderer enters my bedroom]
Murderer: murdering time!
Me: not today murderer (safely positions entire body under covers)
Murderer: SON OF A
DORA: “Swiper, no swiping!”
SWIPER: “oh, man”
*Wealthier fox shows up, swipes everything*
DORA: “That’s OK, it’ll trickle down”
[ First day as a bartender ]
Me: *unzips customers pants*
Me: you said make it stiff
I was misbehaving during family game night. So now I’m in Solitaire confinement.
Why do they say “character actress”? Is that to differentiate them from the all those actresses that only play walls and bits of furniture?
when spiderman jumps from building to building why isn’t it called peter parkour
If I were a werewolf I wouldn’t have to chain myself up at night because I don’t like going out anyway.