Very proud of how these turned out. I bought them from a store like a normal person.
I’ve lost more friends to Candy Crush than Crystal Meth.
You Might Also Like
Until my sneezes have time to figure out their beliefs, please stop blessing them.
Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared.
Then you Energy.
I’d use my best pan on you.
10yo: (screaming) MOM, COME HERE RIGHT NOW!!
Me: Okay, Okay!
*steps on lego*
*stubs toe on fallen over chair*
*falls over laundry basket*
*slip-and-slides across spilt water*
*arrives at 10yo*
10yo: Never mind. I figured it out.
Breaking News: Scientists clone a new hybrid cantalope and cauliflower. “We call it the melon-cauli,” says Dr. Noah Lot of OMG I’m so sorry
That awkward moment when your stormtrooper army loses a battle to a bunch of teddy bears with sticks and stones.
Met my boyfriend on eharmony, also eharmony is the nickname I gave this vending machine, meet my sandwich
Cute guy: hey how’s it goin
Me: YES I ALSO LIKE BLUEBERRIES
Me: THEY’RE ACTUALLY PURPLE WHEN YOU SMUSH THEM
Cute guy: *backing away*
Me: I HOPE DROGON IS OKAY
i absolutely refuse to drink any tap water till it’s gone though my brita filter that i haven’t changed in 5 years