What idiot called it ‘telling the future through tea-leaves’ and not ‘brews foresight’?
I’ve mastered the art of knowing what not to say…not saying it, whole different story
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Vegan pizza…. is basically
just the box.
Stegosaurus: We’re getting reports of a huge asteroid. A global killer. We need a volunteer deep-core driller to destroy it
T-Rex: As the world’s best deep-core driller, I will save us all
[cut to T-Rex furiously trying to pick up the detonator he dropped]
Wouldst the genuine Slim Shady kindly arise?
THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR… CLAUSTROPHOBIC MAN (runs into a phone booth) (runs out, crying) no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no n-
I texted my ex,
I’m at a cemetery…..
wish you were here.
when super mario bros. was released in russia it was much less popular under the title “you are toilet man fight turtle monster”
“Go out there, kid! Make a name for yourself-”
JAMARCUS McTHUNDERNUGGETS THE THIRD
“Trent that’s not really what i-”
It’s Jamarcus now