@Darlainky: I've never been introduced before entering a room unless you count "Shh, here she comes!"
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@smithsara79: The fastest land animal is me when I'm upstairs and hear my dog about to throw up in the living room
@krisv_723: I found a baggie of coke while out walking my dogs. I knew adopting the retired police K-9 would pay off.
@HMittelmark: There is nothing like the sound of a child's laughter to remind you that your apartment is haunted.
@JoshDenny: Apparently 50% of people prefer pizza to sex. What is wrong with people? Have they never had pizza?