@dumbbeezie: I’ve never texted someone to let them know I made it home safe. Shoulda come with me if you wanted details
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@foxnerdrn: I feel like my parents grossly overstated the number of times I'd be offered candy by strangers.
@TheTweetOfGod: 'Twas the day before Lent, and when it was done, not a creature was sober, not even a nun.
@thenatewolf: Me: I know you from somewhere Jesus: I get that a lot Me: no I'm sure Jesus: just one of those faces Me: [holding arms out] go like this
@ClearlyUnwell: I've just realised that I've got one of those cool body types that can eat whatever I want and get fat.