(Boyfriend reaches for an old Target bag to line the trash can)
Me: NOT THE NICE TRASH BAGS
I’ve seen enough episodes of Dateline to know never to stand near a cliff while letting Hubs take my picture.
You Might Also Like
I had some food stuck in my teeth and now I’m an international beatboxing champion.
My nephew’s inability to get his life started is so frustrating. Get a job, learn a skill, get a hobby or just do SOMETHING. But my family keeps justifying his behavior because “he’s only three.”
November 5, 2010 I hate the muppets bcuz of the Pig girl, she was disgusting, i hate her with my life, she doesnot leave the lizard alone
me: i always get so hungry when i’m high, want some taco bell?
driving test instructor: no
I miss dating
The excitement of meeting someone new, that feeling of butterflies when you see if you can climb out their bathroom window…
Can’t find my belt so I’ll just need to get fatter.
(invention of the crib)
put that baby in jail
How do you ask a friend if she’s a human-reptile hybrid, but as a compliment? She never sweats and that’s for sure a third eyelid.
Why isn’t there a squirrel week, Discovery Channel?