@Stella1070: I've wrecked my car yet I still weigh the same. This crash diet is for the birds.
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@ElleOhHell: 911? I'm a man trapped in a woman's body! "That's not exactly an emergency." Oh. Huh. Ok. *Tries door in Statue of Liberty again*
@mommajessiec: *opens Advil* *takes Advil* *closes Advil* *looks at husband* “Sorry, where are my manners? You want some?”
@HelenMaryMe: My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink, until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theater.