Whoever named them “urinal cakes” has grossly underestimated my love for cake.
On a side note, what is the strongest toothpaste available?
Jesus loves me. This I know.
For my neighbor told me so.
Jesus is a Puerto Rican that lives two doors down.
I’m flattered…but straight.
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End any argument with a baby by saying “Well, at least my arms are longer than my head.” YA GOT SMOKED, BABY
GOD: This one is a giraffe.
ANGEL: That’s a long neck. They must make loud noises-
GOD: They have no vocal chords.
ANGEL: Dude… come on
name a hurricane “Jesus” cuz then u could say “Jesus is coming” & have unaware ppl frantically prepare for rapture
Omg you should have seen how the parsley was placed to the left of my grilled chicken thigh
When I found out Carl was a beekeeper I stopped loaning him bees.
Id like to thank the Walmart cashier for making me feel like big money. I guess you don’t see many $20 bills, glad you made sure its legit.
law professor: you’re currently failing your ethics class
me: *slides a $20 across the desk* how about now