@huntigula: Jesus: remember disciples, everything the light touches is god's kingdom
Judas: um, isn't that from the Lion King?
Jesus: *glares at Judas*
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@nerdreign: When runner-ups in reality shows say, "I may not have won but I'm still a winner," do they understand how language and/or competition works?
@Rica_Bee: I can never hear what my kids are up to while I'm in the shower so I just yell "HEY cut it out!" every 60 seconds and hope that keeps them in line
@murrman5: girl im dating buying shampoo: I’ll get this one me looking for a reason to break up with her: coconut and orchids??
@PleaseBeGneiss: Her: let’s role play Me: ok you be Mr. Magoo Her: what? Me: no his hearing is fine
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