[loses house key, starts a new life]
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the craziest thing about today’s story where a bear attacked a 12 year old girl jogging in her neighborhood is WHY IS A 12 YEAR OLD JOGGING
*stares into the abyss*
*abyss pretends it’s doing something on its phone*
“Kids! Come say goodbye to your father!”
-Me, when my husband has a cold.
Just because I’ve forgiven you doesn’t mean I won’t want to throat punch you the next time I see you.
Thought you should know.
Pretty cool how every single person who read The Secret is now a billionaire.
I’m close to $100,000 deep in student loans for my English degree and I just used the word “awesome” 10 times in a row to describe a guy.
I’m sleeping in this morning.
Houseguests should have a mandatory bedtime.
Why did they call it Social Anxiety and not Hey Fever