@AnOrangeSNES: "Jesus take the wheel!" I shout, but Jesus decided to pop out of the sunroof firing a machine gun at our pursuers instead.
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@TitansHomer: I'm the guy at the gym laying face down on the treadmill telling everyone "I'm ok, I'm ok"
@BuckyIsotope: CHARLIE BROWN: happy holidays! CHARLIE BROWN’S PARENTS: wampwahwahwah CHARLIE BROWN: it’s not a war on Christmas, it’s just respecting people who celebrate other holidays CHARLIE BROWN’S PARENTS: wahwahwampwah CHARLIE BROWN: no, Jesus wasn’t white
@KalvinMacleod: CASHIER: would you like to donate one dollar to charity? ME: no thank you SATAN (sitting on a throne made of human skulls): excellent choice