What happens when Christopher’s car breaks down?
Jesus: Those were the times when I carried you son
Me: And when the vending machine ate my dollar?
Jesus: That time you bought me a Snickers
You Might Also Like
I just want to be rich enough to stop giving people toilet paper for Christmas
*joins Buddhist monastery*
*withstands 21 years of brutal kung-fu training*
So, vending machine that didn’t drop my funyuns. We meet again.
Me: Can I meat the new guy?
Boss: Meet? Okay, sure…
*hides bag of steaks*
She said she was turned on by men who liked danger.
So he disabled his firewall.
Cop: show us where the hamburgers are, hamburglar
Hamburglar: you’ve got the wrong guy. I steal ham. You’re thinking of hamburgerburglar
I still remember the first time I lied about being able to time travel. It was tomorrow.
me: hey dad will you pass the turkey
dad: *pats belly* I sure hope so son
Someone explain why clothes are so expensive? I should not have to pay this much to not be naked. People should pay ME to not be naked
I’ve learned from my mistakes. I make bigger and better mistakes than ever now.