My new diet consists in killing anyone who tells me I’m fat.
How would you improve our business?
“Dude, I’d bankrupt you in a week. I’m just catchin Pokemon in your office.”
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IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE ME AT MY WORST THAT IS FINE I AM A TERRIFYING AND POWERFUL THING AND ALL SHOULD LIVE IN FEAR
No thanks, animal crackers. You’re not fooling me. I eat real animals.
Ex: Do you ever think of someone else when we have sex?
Me: No, it’s always George Clooney.
“I am out of the office. If you need immediate help please contact customer service.”
“Dude this isn’t email I’m standing in front of you.”
Me: Wanna have sex?
Wife: With you or in general?
The downside of dating intelligent women is having to Google what they call you when it ends badly
Me: the vacuum broke
Husband: that sucks
Me: no it doesn’t
Suddenly she was on her back, clothes strewn everywhere and her wrists bound to her ankles. She always had trouble hanging out the washing.
Just got a job opening demanding 13-18 yrs of experience in iOS development.
Do they realize that the platform itself is 8 years old?