Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Follow us on Instagram. In case you are wondering "But Why!". We post nice "night mode" funny tweets that are easy on your eyes when you are lying down on your side and night and scrolling through your phone while trying to get numbed up and forget the day. Click here to follow us

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@AimeeHelene1: I'm just gonna give this to you...and you feel free to do whatever you like with it. Nooooo pressure... *slides deodorant across the table*

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@causticbob: A router goes into a doctor's office and says, "It hurts when IP."

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@SamGrittner: "Your gun and your badge. And your gun. And your gun. And your gun. And your gun. And your gun. And your gun. And your gun." - Octopus Police Chief

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@dubiousrhetoric: Preowned Jaguar for sale. Beloved family member, excellent shape. Wife forced me to put her up for sale after she (the jaguar) ate the kids.

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@ItsAndyRyan: Producer: Any ideas? Bruce Willis: There are 4 elements, right? Producer: Go on... Bruce: What if there was a FIFTH element Producer: Great! What else? Bruce: You know there are five senses... Half an hour later Bruce: So what if there TWELVE monkeys?

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