@toomanytoes: Judge: You need supervision.
Me: [Imagines toasting toast at a slightly increased rate with laser eyes] YES! Do it now robed wizard.
![Judge: You need supervision.
Me: [Imagines toasting toast at a slightly increased rate with laser eyes] YES! Do it now robed wizard.](/cache/96525.jpg)
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@walkerwalt: Before encouraging everyone to "do whatever makes you happy," ask if anyone is a sadist. Don't encourage the sadists.
@ArfMeasures: GF: What's my biggest flaw? ME: You haven't got any, you're perfect, I love you GF: No come on, I mean pacifically ME: We should split up
@Poutymcgee: *chugs down my 6th glass of wine and slams it on the table Can I hold your baby?
@SkinnerSteven: 🎶 I'm a cat, boy / in a sealed box I hide / I'm Wanted / dead and alive! - Bon Schröedi
@geowizzacist: (3am, my kid wakes up) Me: *Pretends to be asleep* My wife: *Pretends to be more asleep* Me: *Pretends to be even more asleep* My wife: *Pretends to be even way more asleep*
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