@JulesC70

Junk is something that you’ve kept for years & throw away 3 weeks before you need it.

Junk is something that you’ve kept for years & throw away 3 weeks before you need it.

- @JulesC70

You Might Also Like

@3sunzzz

*hangs a note in my medicine cabinet* Mind Your Own Damn Business

@Samzen_

All girls love surprises. I didn’t know putting a snake in her handbag was wrong. We can’t understand women.

@Dawn_M_

I will take your secret to the grave. Unless I’m drunk and revealing it will make me popular.

@KentWGraham

Latest election news: Donald Trump narrowly leads Hillary Clinton by 4 lies.

@Cheeseboy22

Sometimes, during the movie previews, I’ll turn to the stranger sitting next to me and whisper, “We should really go see that together.”

@AngryBlkManDC

On this day 15 years ago my moms picked up the phone and interrupted a file at 96% I’d been downloading from Napster for 17 hours.

@ThaJawn

Me: *trying to be cool* Scotch

Bartender: Preference?

Me: *nervously* hop

Bartender: Bout time! *breaks out sidewalk chalk*

@ramblinma

My kid at 8am: Mommy!
Me: Yes, my love?

My kid at 8pm: Mommy!
Me: WHAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTT NOWWWWW?!