@seandunn76: 4 in 3 people have syphilis. Look to your left. Look to your right. One of you has syphilis twice.

@gianni_bcn: To show off my "Downton Abbey etiquette" at the gym, I don't throw punches at the punching bag. I just say something witty and cruel to it.

@KentWGraham: If you pack an acid-laced brownie in your lunch, you can quickly identify the employee who’s stealing all the food from the fridge.

@ghostkrogh: america: tremble at our nuclear might also america: we skip the number 13 on elevators when we build skyscrapers cos that's spooky

@mrjohndarby: me: do you sell ducks? him: yes, but they're going quick me: ok i'll take one *later* duck: quick! me: i see