Fear does not exist in this dojo. And neither does air conditioning or proper ventilation, so you will all be sparring in your underwear.
Just because something’s vegan doesn’t mean it’s cruelty-free. For example, my ex-girlfriend
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Unfollowed a bunch of people this morning because of their views on sweater vests.
Subway kid: Would you like your sandwich toasted?
Me: No, I’m toasted enough for both us. In fact I’m kind of hoping it can drive me home.
under my wife’s car waiting to grab her ankle and yell “how are you?”
son: dad sing me a song
me: alright *clears throat* SHAWTY HAD THEM APPLE BOTTOM JEANS
wife from the other room: JEANS
me: BOOTS WITH THE FUR
wife: *shows up, grabs both door handles and drops it low* WITH THE FUR
me: THE WHOLE CLUB WAS LOOKING AT HER
Me: So you’re an Atheist?
Me: So what year is it?
Me: based on how years are counted after a certain birth?
“Oooo, a window. Let’s see if I can fly through it.” – Dumbass birds
hi, grandma? can u come pick me up from my rap battle? it’s over. no, i lost. he saw u drop me off & did a pretty devastating rhyme about it
Hobby Lobby and Chick-Fil-A have one thing in common: I never go there.
Before cell phones and texting, I used to get pulled over a lot for playing solitaire with a physical deck of cards while I was driving