@KrunkedRobot
@jannable9
Kate who dumped me at junior school now wants me to like her interior decorating Facebook page.
How the tables have turned Kate.
You Might Also Like
@jannable9
@JennyJohnsonHi5
How do you tell your spouse you were fired from SpaghettiOs for honoring Pearl Harbor Day with a smiling cartoon noodle holding a flag?
@unravelingfire
You know who else has a naughty list?
HR
@ThisOneSayz
Me: they’re coming!
911: can you hide?
Me: they’ll find me!!
911: stay calm
Me: the door is opening…help!
“Mooom! We want a snack!!”
@karencreets
I should probably never be a mom considering I’d rather drop a baby in a puddle than my iPhone
@TweetPotato314
the original name for the ps5 was pspspspsps but it kept attracting cats
@briangaar
Looking at the smoldering corpses of his enemies, Harry Potter thought “damn magic is dope as hell.” #LastLinesFromGreatBooks
@Playing_Dad
Daughter: Daddy, why do you have to go to work everyday?
Me: Do you like clothes?
Daughter: Not really
Me: Shut up
@Tmoney68
BREAKING: Emotionally disturbed man gets into Trump Tower.
He was stopped by security, but not before being named a senior advisor.
@MartaEffing
[sexy time]
Me: Let me be your fantasy.
Him: It’s a Star Wars thing.
Me: Say no more.*leaves*
*comes back dressed as Yoda*