If they stop texting back you need to assume they’ve died and move on. If you see them out just smile because you ain’t afraid of no ghost
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A wise man once said nothing.
I keep my friends close *lean in, whisper* and my anemones closer
“Sir thats very fun but aquarium policy forbids sitting in the touch tank”
Everyone dies of *something*. For example, this man is about to die from buying the last box of Thin Mints in front of me in the cookie line
This makes me crack up every time I see it.
Me at age 5 “I wish I had a $1”
Me at age 10 “I wish I had $100”
Me at age 17 “I wish I had $1,000,000”
Me at age 26 “I wish I had $1”
When it comes to telling a joke, opportunity Knock Knocks. #jokes
Next time I’m opening up to someone is my autopsy
COP: Nobody on the main floor. Let’s check upsta–
GIRAFFE COP: Nobody upstairs
To take full advantage of the never answer calls from an unknown number rule, you should also never assign names to numbers in your phone.