@KentWGraham: Just did the math and found out I can retire next year if I start saving $144,468.02 a month.
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@Tbone7219: I walk around my yard with a fake neck tattoo so my neighbors will not ask me to watch their kids.
@Dutch_50: Whenever I see a bruise on a banana my first thought is pity, but then I think it probably deserved it because I slipped on a peel once.
@amberfw: A mom sat down next to me at the park, smiled and asked, "Which one's yours?" I replied, "None of them... yet."