Just googled “unsolved murders in my area” because I have some extra time and someone has to solve these cases.

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sorry i’m still an undecided voter, but it’s hard to pick just one when I love them both so very very much


Life Tip:

Do not treat your woman like an object. It hates that.


am i anxious? yes. but is that going to stop me from doing things i love? also yes


Welcome to my home. There are 43 night lights just in case you’d like to wander the house at 3am.


Tuna are probably pretty annoyed with how much we worry about catching dolphins in our tuna nets.


Set a personal record today.

I put 300 lbs on bench press.
I couldn’t lift it, obviously, but once the weight crushed my chest, I was able to hold my breath for 3 minutes and 26 seconds.

Personal best! 🙌


Don’t ask me if I’m participating in no nut November, call me when it’s time for Donut December


it’s my first birthday in four years so say happy birthday to me rn or i’ll k*ll u with my bare hands


I bought black-out curtains on Amazon Prime day. It’s noon and my husband is still asleep.

So either he’s dead or they really work. 10/10