@CaseyMichelle__: Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn't doing his part of the chores around here
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@KeetPotato: wife: "he never reacts appropriately, just tell him" doctor: "ok, keith we had to remove both your legs" me: "where will i keep my car keys"
@bridger_w: Is one of the steps in the P90X workout to tell everyone on Facebook that you're doing it?
@trumpetcake: BECAUSE YOU SHARED THAT VIDEO EVERY SINGLE PERSON HAS ABANDONED THEIR CAR AND RUN INTO THE FLAMES TO SAVE A RABBIT. THE RABBIT POPULATION IS NOW SPREADING FASTER THAN THE FIRE. THEY ARE 0% CONTAINED. I CAN HEAR THEIR LITTLE FEET COMING THIS WAY. OH NO MY WINDOWS ARE OPE