You’re 22 years old, dating a 62 year old man an update a status like “I can’t wait to see my baby” Is he your baby or your ANCESTOR ?
Just got blocked by a longtime friend here and I’m trying to get over it
I’m over it
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Sometimes I ask my husband to put away the clean dishes so I can play kitchen scavenger hunt next time I need something.
Keep salespeople from pestering you by asking what type of saw can cut through bone and sinew the quickest.
I’ve decided to shave off my eyebrows and draw them in. It’s pretty cool, except when I have to redraw them to show somebody I’m angry.
“Sorbet” is a French word that means, “I wish it was ice cream.”
When I want to trim down my friend’s list on FB I give my opinion and let nature do the rest.
Her: “Is that you in your avi?”
Me: “No, it’s a picture of me.”
*explosiom of light*
*univrse is created*
*a grape fals off a vine adn drys*
evreythimg hapens for a raisin
‘All of me, loves all of you’
– John Legend.
‘Some of me, loves some of you’
– John Average.
(adj) showing patronizing superiority
(verb) a convict shimmying down a prison wall with a rope made of bed sheets.